OutdoorType

My phone rang around lunch time.

On the other end was roommate Julia who was experiencing car troubles not more than 6 miles west of my office.

It was a slow day at work and so I drove to see if I could be of assistance. As it happens, with my car being a mere mid-sized SUV and not a flat bed tow truck, there was very little in the way of help that I could offer other than to opine that yes, the fact that your engine will not turn on and sounds as if it has ground to a halt is probably a bad thing. I’m very mechanically minded you see.

Thankfully good ol’ AAA could help. They dispatched one of those afore mentioned tow trucks and I was relieved of my road side assistance duties and headed back to work. Before returning to office land though I would need some eats. As it was nearing 2pm immediate satiation of my hunger eliminated all but the fastest of food options. To the Golden Arches I drove!

I went to McDonalds, to the drive through window, to get the usual… a two cheeseburger meal, no pickles. On the screen my order showed up “Big Mac Meal” so at the second window I made sure to double check that the bag indeed did hold two little burgers wrapped in yellow paper and not a burger covered by cardboard box. The bag did and and I was happy and I drove back to the office.

At my desk I unwrapped the first burger. I unwrapped the first burger and with a certain amount of hunger fueled haste bit into it without first checking for any offending brine or vinegar soaked cucumbers. And yet right there in the very first bite was a pickle. I recognised the foreign object instantly and stopped mid-bite faster than a SawStop table saw. Out came the pickle and I continued to devour that little burger. It hit the spot but I wanted more.

Unwrapping the second burger I was not going to be fooled again. I lifted the top bun, grabbed the pickle (of course there was a pickle!) between two fingers and set it aside. I set the top bun back in place, lifted the burger and took a mighty bite… into nothing! In my haste my addled brain failed to notice that while the burger people had indeed included the ever hated pickle they had forgotten the all beef patty. My burger was not a burger, it was two halves of a bun smeared with ketchup and mustard and onion bits and a pickle and nothing else.

It is a well known fact… they F you at the drive through. Who was I to think that the sae fate did lie in store for me? How dare I tempt the gods of fast food and ask for a customized lunch? I was Icarus flying to close to the drive through window. I’m lovin’ it indeed.