OutdoorType

Consumer Reports has finished their annual auto tests and I just finished reading a quick summary of the Top 11 Worst Cars.

I gotta say that the write up for the Jeep Wrangler Unlimited, the #1 Worst.Car.Ever. (2008), is amusing:

Highs: Off-road ability

Lows: Everything else… (Ride, handling, braking, noise, fuel economy, fit and finish, visibility, front seat comfort, access, reliability)

That’s quite the list. And also, have you seen these things out there on the road? Could they look any dumber all stretched out like that? It’s true, I’ve never been a Jeep Guy (or a Car Guy for that matter), but still… I know an aesthetically pleasing auto when I see one, and the Wrangler Unlimited is not it.

In the Shattering My Dreams Category comes #6, the Toyota FJ Cruiser. This is a cool looking car that I want to love. My neighbor has one and he parks it out front, often right next to my little Pathfinder, and boy does it make my car look shlumpy. Now, I know I just made a sort of bold statement by calling out the stretched aesthetics of what once was a classic vehicle design, but the FJ Cruiser looks cool in that same, weird sort of way that the Honda Element looks cool. They’re sexy-ugly.

Anyways, I want to like the FJ, but apparently there is much left to be desired…

Highs: Off-road ability, powertrain, reliability

Lows: Visibility, ride, handling, noise, fit and finish, premium fuel, access

Again with the high marks for off-road ability. If only Consumer Reports took that into account. Seems that not a lot of people require off-roading skills to drive to the Giant for milk. Shocking.

Now, I’m not sure why this car got to be #8. If you ask me I’d bump it up to the #1 spot. Why? Well, let’s see what they say about the Suzuki Forenza (base)…

Highs: Turning circle

Lows: Acceleration, fuel economy, ride, IIHS sidecrash result, ABS option hard to find

Ok, so it can turn in circles (and I’m assuming we mean tight circles here). Fantastic. Let’s skip down to some analysis on the low points. It won’t accelerate quickly so if you do need to get out of a problem you’re out of luck. Also, you’re going to get to pay a lot in fuel dollars for the privilege of driving an underpowered small car. And the ride will be crappy. And your anti-lock brakes option (a helpful tool for, you know, stopping and what not) is difficult to find. And then, what’s this about the “IIHS sidecrash result”? Hmmm…

The Forenza received a “Poor” rating from the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety for side impact protection despite having head- and torso-protecting side airbags.

Even with extra air bags you’re still going to get totally F’d up in a crash!! The Jeep at least (one assumes) is going to let you live and/or walk away from an accident. Not so much with the Suzuki death trap. Awesome.

Now, to be fair and end on a positive note, here’s a link to the Top 10 Best Cars.